Sometimes...

Sometimes I get into this kind of funk where I just feel like I can't take it anymore and I just don't feel like I'm good at anything or that I just don't fit in. I guess that's the story of my life I've moved so many times that I haven't been able to really fit it because I wasn't around for those late night conversations, embarrassing moments, heart breaks, last minute road trips, or any of the other things that really make you feel like you belong. Even if nothing makes sense around you there is that feeling that you know they have all seen you at your worst and love you none the less.
I feel like Im trying to keep myself above water because if I fall below no one will see and I'll drown. I posted on facebook a while ago "Sometimes life just goes and goes and then suddenly you fall and it's like you never even saw the cliff...". What do you do then? With out those friends that know you so well, that will notice if you just fall off a cliff(so to speak).
But then I throw on pandora as I am trying to keep up on my house and on my third day radio station out pops a song that reminds me that God made me. God the Father decided that I was good and sent His Son to save me. Not just some hero who runs in and rescue's me, no a Savior who payed for my sins when the punishment was death. Not even just death, torture and hate. And not just torture and hate but an innocent condemned. He chose to do this for me, He could have changed His mind at any time and who wouldn't after being nailed to a cross? Or waiting forever for death to come with the weight of your body pulling at your fresh wounds? While watching your Mom watch you suffer?
In all my worry and fear I am reminded that God has a purpose for my life, that I am here for a reason. I am very loved and all through my life God has been with me to share with me during my worst times and my best times and He still loves me. No matter how many times I may have to start over(which I pray I don't for my children's sake) I know that I am never alone.

Just keep running..........

I think that I may love running! I ran 2 miles with Lexi a couple days ago (yeah I know my little girl jogged for 2 miles!!!!) and then the next day I jogged 4 miles! I just have a hard time finding the time to go:) Only 1 week left until the strawberry festival!

Strawberry Festival 5k

So I've decided to take the biggest loser 5k challenge at the strawberry festival in Lebanon! This is a big challenge for me because I haven't run since way before my youngest was born, were talking years now......
Well I started training with some great advise, a jogging stroller, and a pair of tennis shoes from my good friend Brenna! Along with my faithful jogging partner Luke our yellow lab mix I have now jogged 4 times! The first time I jogged 1min walked 1.5min for a total of 20min, the next time I jogged/walked with my friend Brenna for a little under 2miles (Brenna is a great runner so she kept up some great patience with me), then I jogged with my husband (he's a great runner too so he had to use some super patience)and we jogged/walked(mostly walked)for 3.89miles, and then tonight Luke and I went jogging and in 48min we covered 3.59miles! The last 1.57miles we jogged the whole time! 21min straight of jogging! I realize that's not very fast but give me a break, remember this is the woman that hadn't jogged since waaay before she was even pregnant with her youngest who just turned 2yrs old.
I think I may love jogging!

God's blessings

It's moments like these that amaze me.