Sometimes...

Sometimes I get into this kind of funk where I just feel like I can't take it anymore and I just don't feel like I'm good at anything or that I just don't fit in. I guess that's the story of my life I've moved so many times that I haven't been able to really fit it because I wasn't around for those late night conversations, embarrassing moments, heart breaks, last minute road trips, or any of the other things that really make you feel like you belong. Even if nothing makes sense around you there is that feeling that you know they have all seen you at your worst and love you none the less.
I feel like Im trying to keep myself above water because if I fall below no one will see and I'll drown. I posted on facebook a while ago "Sometimes life just goes and goes and then suddenly you fall and it's like you never even saw the cliff...". What do you do then? With out those friends that know you so well, that will notice if you just fall off a cliff(so to speak).
But then I throw on pandora as I am trying to keep up on my house and on my third day radio station out pops a song that reminds me that God made me. God the Father decided that I was good and sent His Son to save me. Not just some hero who runs in and rescue's me, no a Savior who payed for my sins when the punishment was death. Not even just death, torture and hate. And not just torture and hate but an innocent condemned. He chose to do this for me, He could have changed His mind at any time and who wouldn't after being nailed to a cross? Or waiting forever for death to come with the weight of your body pulling at your fresh wounds? While watching your Mom watch you suffer?
In all my worry and fear I am reminded that God has a purpose for my life, that I am here for a reason. I am very loved and all through my life God has been with me to share with me during my worst times and my best times and He still loves me. No matter how many times I may have to start over(which I pray I don't for my children's sake) I know that I am never alone.