In front of everyone at Jacob's first 4H meeting. All the parents laughed at me, but to be honest I laughed at myself too. I apparently try to fix all of my children's problems for them. So Jacob was having a hard time controlling Charlie (his 6m old pup) while trying to introduce himself to the group. Mom to the rescue! I start walking towards the little circle of kids with their pups to help calm Charlie down and as I get halfway to the group, errrch! I stop in mid tracks, I can't remember just what the teacher said but I wasn't allowed to come save my little boy. As the parents laugh, I walk backwards back to my place and hold my hands tightly together trying not to go save him. "He's going to be just fine", I tell myself. Acceptance is the first step right?
Then there were a few other instances where he was trying but having a hard time controlling his bouncy pup. Well apparently 4H dog obedience is all about learning how to train your dog on your own....I guess I missed that part...:)
Well anyway, this led me to think about all the times I try to take care of my kids problems. This doesn't really happen at home, they are very much responsible for all their problems at home......well to a degree.....for the most part? This led me to think about all the times that I save them from 'embarrassment' in front of their friends, or 'missing out' on anything outside of our home.
You know that moment when you suddenly realize that you are trying to prevent all the problems you had as a child from reaching your children and then you kinda go overboard? Then your kids don't just get along nicely without these 'very detrimental' problems, but they get the added gift of not really learning how to deal with these problems. Then they start manipulating you...well that may be where were at now.
Don't get me wrong my kids aren't horrible but in public they don't seem to think of consequences much, probably because they just get a lot of warnings and whispered threats of later punishments.
So I have been trying very hard not to give in just because I don't want my kids to miss out. Like the other day Jacob was invited to go to the park with one of his friends and his friends Mom and oh man did I want to say yes, what a great time he would have! The only problem? He just got in big trouble for lying and being rude to his baby sister, and he had to stay in his room until dinner. I won't lie, I wished and washed about this for a moment with a big long ehhhhhhhhh....trying desperately to think of a way he could go but still deal with his punishment. I sadly couldn't think of a way and very guiltily said no, and apologized profusely. Yes I pulled through!
One day at a time, I am getting better. I just have to remember that this is what's best for my kids. There will be other opportunities for fun.
No comments:
Post a Comment