Love God.

Dear Melissa,
I am still in charge.
Love,
God

I read at someone's house once and I loved it.
After my 4H realization and working on my parenting. I started thinking about just me in general.
I have a tendancy to take things on by myself. Like I have to be able to take care of everything. A huge example of this is the fear of having a baby boy.
I am pregnant with a little boy! Jaden, who is due to enter this world Febuary 24th, 2011. At first I was incredibly excited! Then scared, and still nervous. Earlier I told you all that I didn't think I was capable of having a boy. Wierd I know, but a good friend reminded me that I wasn't the one creating this little boy; God is. God gave me the gift of this little boy, as well as the gift of getting to be a part of his creation.
The fear stemmed from me never having been a boy before and having no way of teaching him how to be a boy. Apparently they come that way as my dear husband reminded me. But as he reminded me of this he also reminded me that I am not doing this alone. My children have an amazing father who has been a boy before!
Letting go and relying on others isn't my strong point. This is probably most obvious in the fact that my children hardly go to anyone's house or get babysat.
So not only do I have to work on parenting and not saving my children from everything that could make them feel bad outside of our home, but I also have to remember to rely on others.
The note from God, is a hard one for me to remember. To rely on God and trust that he will take care of my children, even if something happens to me my children are really not just my children. They are God's children first and he loves them much more than I could ever love them. He has a wonderful plan for them, much more amazing than the one I have thought up. I struggle with this most out of anything. I fear not being there for my children more than anything.