I found my cheery self not long after my last post and then lost cheery again! Argh pregnancy moodswings are the worst. I did find out that I have Gestational Diabetes, the good news is that my doctor is giving me a chance to keep it under control with my diet although I think he felt compelled to put me on medication. I have been doing good though, my blood sugar has stayed around 110 other than my last test was 138 just over what my nurse said to stay under.
The only problem is that I ran out of test strips, I have to wait for my prescription and don't know how long that'll take. I am one of those people who function best in an exact numbered world so checking my blood sugar gives me some sort of focus.
In any case, only 4 more months! I will make sure to update this on one of my better mood swings maybe cheery will come back:)
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Have you seen my cheery self?
I am pretty sure my cheery self has fallen off the face of this earth. I am so frusterated that my doctor hasn't gotten back to me that I am losing it. I am having blood sugar issues, or atleast I am pretty sure I am. This often directly affects my mood. I am sure that the ketones found in my urine were not from not eating enough as my on call doctor would like me to believe but in his defense he is only my on call doctor. I am positive that I have gestational diabetes again, like in my last pregnancy and that is the real reason for the ketones in my urine. This becomes a problem because my doctors have told me to eat more but the problem with this is that if I do have gestational diabetes I am only making myself sicker by eating more. I feel like poo right now and I am just yucky too.
So if you have seen my cheery self anywhere please tell her to come home, preferably before the doctor calls me back or I feel the need to call him....
So if you have seen my cheery self anywhere please tell her to come home, preferably before the doctor calls me back or I feel the need to call him....
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Mood swings...
You know when some one is pregnant eventually if not the whole time there will be mood swings. I don't remember this part with my last pregnancy, I was just all too excited to be pregnant.
This time not so much, don't get me wrong I am excited to welcome little Jaden into this world. Just not so excited about all the wonderful things that go along with pregnancy. Like this mood swing I am in. EVERY single thing is bugging me! My kids are driving me up the wall! No they're not being obnoxious to everyone just me. Screaming, laughing, growling, and jumping all over the furniture is not a rare occurance in this house; I should be used to it by now. Most of the time I think it's hilarious or atleast enjoyable. Right now, I could just string my children up by their toes and duct tape their mouthes shut! Ok, maybe not...lol:) Sitting inside is driving me bananas too, its raining and yucky outside. Not a whole lotta cash this way so no escaping the house. My poor husband looking at the computer because he's bored is driving me crazy too. Although he handed over the computer. Such a good husband, lol;) He's now wrestling the kids in the living room making sure they don't realize that I'd like to string them up, lol:)
Ahhh if only this yucky anxiety bored tired feeling would just up and swing away!
Until then I will grit my teeth and smile at my beautifully obnoxious family like a good pregnant mommy, lol:)
This time not so much, don't get me wrong I am excited to welcome little Jaden into this world. Just not so excited about all the wonderful things that go along with pregnancy. Like this mood swing I am in. EVERY single thing is bugging me! My kids are driving me up the wall! No they're not being obnoxious to everyone just me. Screaming, laughing, growling, and jumping all over the furniture is not a rare occurance in this house; I should be used to it by now. Most of the time I think it's hilarious or atleast enjoyable. Right now, I could just string my children up by their toes and duct tape their mouthes shut! Ok, maybe not...lol:) Sitting inside is driving me bananas too, its raining and yucky outside. Not a whole lotta cash this way so no escaping the house. My poor husband looking at the computer because he's bored is driving me crazy too. Although he handed over the computer. Such a good husband, lol;) He's now wrestling the kids in the living room making sure they don't realize that I'd like to string them up, lol:)
Ahhh if only this yucky anxiety bored tired feeling would just up and swing away!
Until then I will grit my teeth and smile at my beautifully obnoxious family like a good pregnant mommy, lol:)
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Love God.
Dear Melissa,
I am still in charge.
Love,
God
I read at someone's house once and I loved it.
After my 4H realization and working on my parenting. I started thinking about just me in general.
I have a tendancy to take things on by myself. Like I have to be able to take care of everything. A huge example of this is the fear of having a baby boy.
I am pregnant with a little boy! Jaden, who is due to enter this world Febuary 24th, 2011. At first I was incredibly excited! Then scared, and still nervous. Earlier I told you all that I didn't think I was capable of having a boy. Wierd I know, but a good friend reminded me that I wasn't the one creating this little boy; God is. God gave me the gift of this little boy, as well as the gift of getting to be a part of his creation.
The fear stemmed from me never having been a boy before and having no way of teaching him how to be a boy. Apparently they come that way as my dear husband reminded me. But as he reminded me of this he also reminded me that I am not doing this alone. My children have an amazing father who has been a boy before!
Letting go and relying on others isn't my strong point. This is probably most obvious in the fact that my children hardly go to anyone's house or get babysat.
So not only do I have to work on parenting and not saving my children from everything that could make them feel bad outside of our home, but I also have to remember to rely on others.
The note from God, is a hard one for me to remember. To rely on God and trust that he will take care of my children, even if something happens to me my children are really not just my children. They are God's children first and he loves them much more than I could ever love them. He has a wonderful plan for them, much more amazing than the one I have thought up. I struggle with this most out of anything. I fear not being there for my children more than anything.
I am still in charge.
Love,
God
I read at someone's house once and I loved it.
After my 4H realization and working on my parenting. I started thinking about just me in general.
I have a tendancy to take things on by myself. Like I have to be able to take care of everything. A huge example of this is the fear of having a baby boy.
I am pregnant with a little boy! Jaden, who is due to enter this world Febuary 24th, 2011. At first I was incredibly excited! Then scared, and still nervous. Earlier I told you all that I didn't think I was capable of having a boy. Wierd I know, but a good friend reminded me that I wasn't the one creating this little boy; God is. God gave me the gift of this little boy, as well as the gift of getting to be a part of his creation.
The fear stemmed from me never having been a boy before and having no way of teaching him how to be a boy. Apparently they come that way as my dear husband reminded me. But as he reminded me of this he also reminded me that I am not doing this alone. My children have an amazing father who has been a boy before!
Letting go and relying on others isn't my strong point. This is probably most obvious in the fact that my children hardly go to anyone's house or get babysat.
So not only do I have to work on parenting and not saving my children from everything that could make them feel bad outside of our home, but I also have to remember to rely on others.
The note from God, is a hard one for me to remember. To rely on God and trust that he will take care of my children, even if something happens to me my children are really not just my children. They are God's children first and he loves them much more than I could ever love them. He has a wonderful plan for them, much more amazing than the one I have thought up. I struggle with this most out of anything. I fear not being there for my children more than anything.
I was called out....
In front of everyone at Jacob's first 4H meeting. All the parents laughed at me, but to be honest I laughed at myself too. I apparently try to fix all of my children's problems for them. So Jacob was having a hard time controlling Charlie (his 6m old pup) while trying to introduce himself to the group. Mom to the rescue! I start walking towards the little circle of kids with their pups to help calm Charlie down and as I get halfway to the group, errrch! I stop in mid tracks, I can't remember just what the teacher said but I wasn't allowed to come save my little boy. As the parents laugh, I walk backwards back to my place and hold my hands tightly together trying not to go save him. "He's going to be just fine", I tell myself. Acceptance is the first step right?
Then there were a few other instances where he was trying but having a hard time controlling his bouncy pup. Well apparently 4H dog obedience is all about learning how to train your dog on your own....I guess I missed that part...:)
Well anyway, this led me to think about all the times I try to take care of my kids problems. This doesn't really happen at home, they are very much responsible for all their problems at home......well to a degree.....for the most part? This led me to think about all the times that I save them from 'embarrassment' in front of their friends, or 'missing out' on anything outside of our home.
You know that moment when you suddenly realize that you are trying to prevent all the problems you had as a child from reaching your children and then you kinda go overboard? Then your kids don't just get along nicely without these 'very detrimental' problems, but they get the added gift of not really learning how to deal with these problems. Then they start manipulating you...well that may be where were at now.
Don't get me wrong my kids aren't horrible but in public they don't seem to think of consequences much, probably because they just get a lot of warnings and whispered threats of later punishments.
So I have been trying very hard not to give in just because I don't want my kids to miss out. Like the other day Jacob was invited to go to the park with one of his friends and his friends Mom and oh man did I want to say yes, what a great time he would have! The only problem? He just got in big trouble for lying and being rude to his baby sister, and he had to stay in his room until dinner. I won't lie, I wished and washed about this for a moment with a big long ehhhhhhhhh....trying desperately to think of a way he could go but still deal with his punishment. I sadly couldn't think of a way and very guiltily said no, and apologized profusely. Yes I pulled through!
One day at a time, I am getting better. I just have to remember that this is what's best for my kids. There will be other opportunities for fun.
Then there were a few other instances where he was trying but having a hard time controlling his bouncy pup. Well apparently 4H dog obedience is all about learning how to train your dog on your own....I guess I missed that part...:)
Well anyway, this led me to think about all the times I try to take care of my kids problems. This doesn't really happen at home, they are very much responsible for all their problems at home......well to a degree.....for the most part? This led me to think about all the times that I save them from 'embarrassment' in front of their friends, or 'missing out' on anything outside of our home.
You know that moment when you suddenly realize that you are trying to prevent all the problems you had as a child from reaching your children and then you kinda go overboard? Then your kids don't just get along nicely without these 'very detrimental' problems, but they get the added gift of not really learning how to deal with these problems. Then they start manipulating you...well that may be where were at now.
Don't get me wrong my kids aren't horrible but in public they don't seem to think of consequences much, probably because they just get a lot of warnings and whispered threats of later punishments.
So I have been trying very hard not to give in just because I don't want my kids to miss out. Like the other day Jacob was invited to go to the park with one of his friends and his friends Mom and oh man did I want to say yes, what a great time he would have! The only problem? He just got in big trouble for lying and being rude to his baby sister, and he had to stay in his room until dinner. I won't lie, I wished and washed about this for a moment with a big long ehhhhhhhhh....trying desperately to think of a way he could go but still deal with his punishment. I sadly couldn't think of a way and very guiltily said no, and apologized profusely. Yes I pulled through!
One day at a time, I am getting better. I just have to remember that this is what's best for my kids. There will be other opportunities for fun.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Not only a Mom....
Not only am I a Mom but I am an older sister. As a child it meant that I had an honry little red headed knobby kneed spoiled little sister that I loved more than anything and who absolutely drove me insane! As well as a little sister I barely knew and barely saw. As a teenager I obtained a brother and 2 sisters, which is a completely different sibling relationship than a childhood sibling. I was able to care for my siblings and have them over at my house for the weekend. I have grown to love my siblings unconditionally, the bond we share is incredible and completely different.
I am the oldest of 6 kids all mixed and matched, and I love it. Now as an adult I am incredibly blessed to love these 5 very unique individuals with ages ranging from 7-21yrs old. They bring about so many different joys.
Right now the ones I most see are my 21 year old sister who is pregnant with her 2nd child and seems to need me a bit more now than she has since she was 16yrs old. I am loving it, and any day now I will be meeting my new niece Addison:) I love how our relationship has come through the hard times, from being incredibly close to me pulling away and then her pulling away we are now building up a new adult sisterhood that I think will be even better:)
Then there is my 13yr old sister who is in middle school, whew! Middle school is tough! I skipped around to 4 different middle schools so I never really settled down into a routine enough to realize how difficult middle school was. I fear for her and worry about her a lot, there are so many things going on at this age that I'm not sure she's getting all the help or attention she needs. What if she makes horrible mistakes that scar her for life? I guess thats why Im here to love and guide her through these times no matter how dark or scary they get. But even though this is a tough time, there are moments that are amazing and wonderful. Bright shining, hilarious and loving moments that help me get through this and Im sure help her too.
God entrusted me with almost 4 kids of my own, 5 siblings, and 2 neighbor kids that all depend on my direction and love. 4 of which are dangerously creeping in on teenage hood. How on earth am I going to survive? As soon as those are almost done Ive got 2 more who will be teenagers and then another, not to mention whatever other kiddos fall upon my path! God must really believe in me. Regardless I love it, I love being a part of these kids lives, these little people who will one day grow into adults...
I am the oldest of 6 kids all mixed and matched, and I love it. Now as an adult I am incredibly blessed to love these 5 very unique individuals with ages ranging from 7-21yrs old. They bring about so many different joys.
Right now the ones I most see are my 21 year old sister who is pregnant with her 2nd child and seems to need me a bit more now than she has since she was 16yrs old. I am loving it, and any day now I will be meeting my new niece Addison:) I love how our relationship has come through the hard times, from being incredibly close to me pulling away and then her pulling away we are now building up a new adult sisterhood that I think will be even better:)
Then there is my 13yr old sister who is in middle school, whew! Middle school is tough! I skipped around to 4 different middle schools so I never really settled down into a routine enough to realize how difficult middle school was. I fear for her and worry about her a lot, there are so many things going on at this age that I'm not sure she's getting all the help or attention she needs. What if she makes horrible mistakes that scar her for life? I guess thats why Im here to love and guide her through these times no matter how dark or scary they get. But even though this is a tough time, there are moments that are amazing and wonderful. Bright shining, hilarious and loving moments that help me get through this and Im sure help her too.
God entrusted me with almost 4 kids of my own, 5 siblings, and 2 neighbor kids that all depend on my direction and love. 4 of which are dangerously creeping in on teenage hood. How on earth am I going to survive? As soon as those are almost done Ive got 2 more who will be teenagers and then another, not to mention whatever other kiddos fall upon my path! God must really believe in me. Regardless I love it, I love being a part of these kids lives, these little people who will one day grow into adults...
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Baby Jaden:)
Now almost 21 weeks pregnant the reality that I am going to be a Mom to 4 kids is finally dawning on me! Whew God has a mighty plan and has a lot more confidence in my abilities than I do at times:) With faith in his plan I am going to do my best to stay on top of my duties as a Mom:)
When I found out I was having a boy I was so excited! I just didn't know I was capable of making boys, wierd right? Then I started getting scared, what if I can' t be a really good Mom to a boy? I have a son but he was 4 1/2 when I became his Mom and was already all boy. I didn't have to make decisions like how to potty train him or whether or not to circumcise... but thankfully I have my faith and know that God is just keeping me on my toes:) How great is it to be entrusted with 4 lives? God gave me the gift of being a mother and shared with me the miracle of bringing forth life! There is nothing more amazing than that!
I can't wait until febuary when I get to meet my new son face to face, I love getting to feel him move and kick and to see him on ultrasounds and hear his heartbeat:)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
I'm pregnant!
We are now 19 weeks preggo:) Almost halfway there! We will get to find out the gender of the baby on the 7th:)
Andy gets to decide the baby's name since he hasn't had a chance to name any of our 3 kiddos yet:) He is thinking Jadon for a boy and maybe Jadalynn for a girl:) I can't wait to find out!
I will post pics of the ultrasound and reveal the results as soon as I know! What do you think our baby will be?
Andy gets to decide the baby's name since he hasn't had a chance to name any of our 3 kiddos yet:) He is thinking Jadon for a boy and maybe Jadalynn for a girl:) I can't wait to find out!
I will post pics of the ultrasound and reveal the results as soon as I know! What do you think our baby will be?
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
River
Today started a little more difficult than I would hope for. It seems like my energy has just fluttered away somewhere....
VBS is just around the corner and I know there is so much to do, but I just feel like blah....
I think it must be the laziness of summer, I can't wait for camping. I just want to be out in the world, where there isn't any sort of responsibility looming over my head. So this morning I decided to take a mini escape and went to the river with the dogs and Mikeayla. We had fun and I got to just sit there watching the 2 dogs playing with Mikeayla while the river swept all my stress away.
Thank you God for the river and the beautiful innocence of my daughter. Thank you for this day.
Love,
Melissa
VBS is just around the corner and I know there is so much to do, but I just feel like blah....
I think it must be the laziness of summer, I can't wait for camping. I just want to be out in the world, where there isn't any sort of responsibility looming over my head. So this morning I decided to take a mini escape and went to the river with the dogs and Mikeayla. We had fun and I got to just sit there watching the 2 dogs playing with Mikeayla while the river swept all my stress away.
Thank you God for the river and the beautiful innocence of my daughter. Thank you for this day.
Love,
Melissa
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Here is mine and Andy's conversation today......
Me: Look at my hair (referring to how long it's gotten)
Andy: It looks like hair. Oh wait there are one, two, three, four..............twelve, thirteen.
Me: 13 what?!?
Andy: Your hair is going to be all white!
Me: Andy! Seriously......
Ugh...guys....
Andy: It looks like hair. Oh wait there are one, two, three, four..............twelve, thirteen.
Me: 13 what?!?
Andy: Your hair is going to be all white!
Me: Andy! Seriously......
Ugh...guys....
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Sometimes...
Sometimes I get into this kind of funk where I just feel like I can't take it anymore and I just don't feel like I'm good at anything or that I just don't fit in. I guess that's the story of my life I've moved so many times that I haven't been able to really fit it because I wasn't around for those late night conversations, embarrassing moments, heart breaks, last minute road trips, or any of the other things that really make you feel like you belong. Even if nothing makes sense around you there is that feeling that you know they have all seen you at your worst and love you none the less.
I feel like Im trying to keep myself above water because if I fall below no one will see and I'll drown. I posted on facebook a while ago "Sometimes life just goes and goes and then suddenly you fall and it's like you never even saw the cliff...". What do you do then? With out those friends that know you so well, that will notice if you just fall off a cliff(so to speak).
But then I throw on pandora as I am trying to keep up on my house and on my third day radio station out pops a song that reminds me that God made me. God the Father decided that I was good and sent His Son to save me. Not just some hero who runs in and rescue's me, no a Savior who payed for my sins when the punishment was death. Not even just death, torture and hate. And not just torture and hate but an innocent condemned. He chose to do this for me, He could have changed His mind at any time and who wouldn't after being nailed to a cross? Or waiting forever for death to come with the weight of your body pulling at your fresh wounds? While watching your Mom watch you suffer?
In all my worry and fear I am reminded that God has a purpose for my life, that I am here for a reason. I am very loved and all through my life God has been with me to share with me during my worst times and my best times and He still loves me. No matter how many times I may have to start over(which I pray I don't for my children's sake) I know that I am never alone.
I feel like Im trying to keep myself above water because if I fall below no one will see and I'll drown. I posted on facebook a while ago "Sometimes life just goes and goes and then suddenly you fall and it's like you never even saw the cliff...". What do you do then? With out those friends that know you so well, that will notice if you just fall off a cliff(so to speak).
But then I throw on pandora as I am trying to keep up on my house and on my third day radio station out pops a song that reminds me that God made me. God the Father decided that I was good and sent His Son to save me. Not just some hero who runs in and rescue's me, no a Savior who payed for my sins when the punishment was death. Not even just death, torture and hate. And not just torture and hate but an innocent condemned. He chose to do this for me, He could have changed His mind at any time and who wouldn't after being nailed to a cross? Or waiting forever for death to come with the weight of your body pulling at your fresh wounds? While watching your Mom watch you suffer?
In all my worry and fear I am reminded that God has a purpose for my life, that I am here for a reason. I am very loved and all through my life God has been with me to share with me during my worst times and my best times and He still loves me. No matter how many times I may have to start over(which I pray I don't for my children's sake) I know that I am never alone.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Just keep running..........
I think that I may love running! I ran 2 miles with Lexi a couple days ago (yeah I know my little girl jogged for 2 miles!!!!) and then the next day I jogged 4 miles! I just have a hard time finding the time to go:) Only 1 week left until the strawberry festival!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Strawberry Festival 5k
So I've decided to take the biggest loser 5k challenge at the strawberry festival in Lebanon! This is a big challenge for me because I haven't run since way before my youngest was born, were talking years now......
Well I started training with some great advise, a jogging stroller, and a pair of tennis shoes from my good friend Brenna! Along with my faithful jogging partner Luke our yellow lab mix I have now jogged 4 times! The first time I jogged 1min walked 1.5min for a total of 20min, the next time I jogged/walked with my friend Brenna for a little under 2miles (Brenna is a great runner so she kept up some great patience with me), then I jogged with my husband (he's a great runner too so he had to use some super patience)and we jogged/walked(mostly walked)for 3.89miles, and then tonight Luke and I went jogging and in 48min we covered 3.59miles! The last 1.57miles we jogged the whole time! 21min straight of jogging! I realize that's not very fast but give me a break, remember this is the woman that hadn't jogged since waaay before she was even pregnant with her youngest who just turned 2yrs old.
I think I may love jogging!
Well I started training with some great advise, a jogging stroller, and a pair of tennis shoes from my good friend Brenna! Along with my faithful jogging partner Luke our yellow lab mix I have now jogged 4 times! The first time I jogged 1min walked 1.5min for a total of 20min, the next time I jogged/walked with my friend Brenna for a little under 2miles (Brenna is a great runner so she kept up some great patience with me), then I jogged with my husband (he's a great runner too so he had to use some super patience)and we jogged/walked(mostly walked)for 3.89miles, and then tonight Luke and I went jogging and in 48min we covered 3.59miles! The last 1.57miles we jogged the whole time! 21min straight of jogging! I realize that's not very fast but give me a break, remember this is the woman that hadn't jogged since waaay before she was even pregnant with her youngest who just turned 2yrs old.
I think I may love jogging!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
A conversation between Jake and Me:)
So I saw a guy in a cowboy hat on my way home from picking the kids up from school...
Me: Jake are you going to be a cowboy when you grow up?
Jake:........uhhh.....
Me: Are you going to be a Pastor?
Jake: Yeah! A UFC/Pastor then everyone can come watch me fight on Sunday's...........no wait that might not work..... I know Ill be a UFC fighter during the week and a Pastor on Sunday's. I'll live in Vegas like all the fighters do.
Me: Will you go party all the time like the other UFC fighters?
Jake: No Mom when Im not fighting I'll be at church. (I could hear the duh in his voice). Maybe Ill be a Pastor when I retire from UFC.
Me: I'm so proud of you Jacob.
Me: Jake are you going to be a cowboy when you grow up?
Jake:........uhhh.....
Me: Are you going to be a Pastor?
Jake: Yeah! A UFC/Pastor then everyone can come watch me fight on Sunday's...........no wait that might not work..... I know Ill be a UFC fighter during the week and a Pastor on Sunday's. I'll live in Vegas like all the fighters do.
Me: Will you go party all the time like the other UFC fighters?
Jake: No Mom when Im not fighting I'll be at church. (I could hear the duh in his voice). Maybe Ill be a Pastor when I retire from UFC.
Me: I'm so proud of you Jacob.
Monday, March 29, 2010
March
This month has been a great one. Mikeayla turned 2! Where did the time go? I guess that's what every parent says, but seriously how does it go soooo fast? It seems like not long ago she was layed on my chest for the first time! How warm and tiny she was, I remember being amazed. I knew I was having a baby and I very very much wanted her for a long time but the reality of how amazing she was never hit me until I felt her and saw her little hand!
Sometimes its hard to believe there was ever a time with out her:)
Yesterday Andy and I were going through old photos and I scanned copies of a couple of Jake and Lexi's 2nd birthday and here they are:) All 3 of my kiddos at 2yrs old:)
Sometimes its hard to believe there was ever a time with out her:)
Yesterday Andy and I were going through old photos and I scanned copies of a couple of Jake and Lexi's 2nd birthday and here they are:) All 3 of my kiddos at 2yrs old:)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Yes I have been slacking:(
Not only have I been slacking and avoiding my blog but my shred has felt awfully lonely lately. I now weigh more than I weighed in at:( Stink!
But tonight due to my very dear friend Robyn's loving pestering I kicked my butt into gear and did level 1 with my mother in law who is about 100lbs more than me. She did great, so great in fact that I lifted my foot and stuck my big old smelly shoe right in my mouth and said that everytime she did level 1 with me I would do level 2 so that she could watch me suffer. This was before I had even tried level2! Oh man I seriously almost lost my cookies! Whew! I am so worn out! But guess what? I DID IT!!!!
Love,
Melissa
But tonight due to my very dear friend Robyn's loving pestering I kicked my butt into gear and did level 1 with my mother in law who is about 100lbs more than me. She did great, so great in fact that I lifted my foot and stuck my big old smelly shoe right in my mouth and said that everytime she did level 1 with me I would do level 2 so that she could watch me suffer. This was before I had even tried level2! Oh man I seriously almost lost my cookies! Whew! I am so worn out! But guess what? I DID IT!!!!
Love,
Melissa
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Biggest Loser: %'s are in!
Percentages are in! I am in the middle! Which is better than what I was expecting:) I didn't shred today but I did home repairs for a good 4hrs, my arm feels like its going to fall off! Ill just have to do 2 tomorow and really bust out!
Luke 11:9
Today was a day full of repairs! After about 4 hrs worth of home repairs and Ive still got to go to home depot tomorow and finish up! As I was curled up under my sink digging into my wall I was praying the whole time........God please let this pipe move, help me get this pipe to turn..........then God decided to keep me from doing something stupid. I got out my dremel and was just going to cut the thing off (which could have worked although sparks were flying everywhere) but he kept my dremel from working and gave me the patience to keep twisting the difficult pipe and guess what? It finally turned! Whew! God is good! Luke 11:9 ”So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
whoops.........
I forgot to post my weight..........193.8lb. I wasn't sure if we were using "." or not so my first weigh in was really 196.6lb. So with a lot of perserverance I should be down to 189.6lbs by tuesday of next week! Pray I can succeed:)
Sooo..........Im a bit dissapointed
But Ill get over it. I only lost 2.8lbs which isn't bad.....but I wanted to lose more. Im having a hard time kicking my behind into gear to get my work out done today.........and I had a sugary coffee this morning...........and I have an entire train wreck of a house to clean............and I have to go get trim for my doors, and new lines for my kitchen sink.......before I can get dishes done.......not to mention lunch for Mikeayla and nap time somewhere in there before this afternoon which is when the insurance agent will be coming to take pictures so I can get home owners insurance............grr..............Ok Im done complaining, life really isn't that bad it could always be worse. Lol Im such a whiner......gotta get to work now.....Im gonna do better next week I will reach my 3.5lb goal! And hopefully catch up my .7lb from this week so a total of 4.2lbs. I am eating a bit more healthier:) I am now geared up to go! On to day 7!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I kicked shred butt today!
So I may have procrastinated until 9pm tonight but I did 2 shreds! In a row! I only have to shred twice tomorow and Ill be caught back up to my one show per work out deal:) Ive also only got 2 more days until weigh ins and I get to see if this shredding has been doing me any good. Either way Im loving how I feel so if I haven't lost any pounds I can relish in the fact that I just feel better! Off to day 5! Good night and God Bless:)
soo............
I kinda busted my plan........but to be fair I was watching shows while I was getting Sunday School stuff together. Although I don't think that my procrastination until 9pm to do my shred can be excused......I am so gonna go do my shred..........ok here I go!.............hmmm...........come on motivation.......................ok I think its starting to kick in..............here it goes............sputter sputter...............alright no more waisting time now.......Im off!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Somewhere in between...
Sometimes I feel so lost somewhere in between the adult world and the just becoming adult world.
There is the adult world where everyone has children my childrens age, but have a few more years of wisdom on me. This is the world I feel kinda dumb in, like Im just not up to speed.
I get the stares like "what a irresponsible person, she must have only been 14 when she had her son; Im not letting my children hang out with hers" which is quite ridiculous because yes I was 14 when my son was born but I didn't become his mom until he was 4 and I was 18 almost 19. And I got married before I birthed my first child.
This isn't of course the majority of people I know, I have some pretty amazing friends in the adult world. And yet I feel like I am always saying something wrong or saying too much at the wrong time. Sometimes I wish I had just grown up in an ordinary family where I was taught all the do's and don't do's of society; I of course regret thinking that seconds after the thought because although my life has been up and down a little all around I am thankful for it. God gave me that life and I know that I've gone through what I needed to so that I could be who I am. I may not understand but I do know.
Then there is my age friends who don't have kids yet or they have babies. I have a few really close friends that I love as family and yet I feel like I am holding them back sometimes. Things come up or my kids are being obnoxious or just being kids; not always enjoyable. And yet these amazing friends carry on by my side, this is my world of guilt. I feel guilty that I put them through the not so fun part of parenthood when they come to hang out with me.
So here I am somewhere in between not quite fitting in anywhere.
Silly me here I am complaining when I have 2 whole groups of friends that love me for me...........I think I must just overthink things.........
There is the adult world where everyone has children my childrens age, but have a few more years of wisdom on me. This is the world I feel kinda dumb in, like Im just not up to speed.
I get the stares like "what a irresponsible person, she must have only been 14 when she had her son; Im not letting my children hang out with hers" which is quite ridiculous because yes I was 14 when my son was born but I didn't become his mom until he was 4 and I was 18 almost 19. And I got married before I birthed my first child.
This isn't of course the majority of people I know, I have some pretty amazing friends in the adult world. And yet I feel like I am always saying something wrong or saying too much at the wrong time. Sometimes I wish I had just grown up in an ordinary family where I was taught all the do's and don't do's of society; I of course regret thinking that seconds after the thought because although my life has been up and down a little all around I am thankful for it. God gave me that life and I know that I've gone through what I needed to so that I could be who I am. I may not understand but I do know.
Then there is my age friends who don't have kids yet or they have babies. I have a few really close friends that I love as family and yet I feel like I am holding them back sometimes. Things come up or my kids are being obnoxious or just being kids; not always enjoyable. And yet these amazing friends carry on by my side, this is my world of guilt. I feel guilty that I put them through the not so fun part of parenthood when they come to hang out with me.
So here I am somewhere in between not quite fitting in anywhere.
Silly me here I am complaining when I have 2 whole groups of friends that love me for me...........I think I must just overthink things.........
My plan
So here is my plan, since I am horribly addicted to watching shows on the Internet at night I have made a rule for myself only one show per work out. No work out no show, one work out one show! So far day 3 has gone well:)
I will be posting my weight every Tuesday, yes embarrassing but I did put myself in this position.
I am feeling good though, I think the exercise is helping my energy level and emotions as well:) Today was quite hilarious my youngest (21months) was working out with me, so stinking cute. Of course at the end she decided to 'help' me by laying on my belly and hugging me while I was doing bicycle crunches, have you ever tried to bicycle crunch with an adoring toddler on your belly? Not easy, but oh so cute:)
OK off to day 4!
Friday, January 8, 2010
The end of day 2
Oh man.....I am so sore! But I have a half a buddy to work out with my husband is going to shred with me every other day:) I think Ill be able to convince my kiddos to try it out too:) Ok too tired to write much just wanted to say I made it through day 2!
Day 2....sugar free!
So I threw out all the sugar except a roll of cookie dough that my husband is 'going to cook'....right.........lol! So Im in the drive thu this morning...(should of skipped I know) I was heading in for a sweet tea when it dawned on me that my beloved sweet tea is full of sugar! So I had to settle for a small regular tea with splenda which cost more than the large sweet tea! Grr....guess Ill have to just start making iced tea; which is more budjet friendly anyway....My poor daughter though almost had a kaniption fit when I told her we weren't going to have french fries, and flat out refused the fruit and yogurt parfait.....poor kid:)
Today I am going to go shred again, Im kinda excited still and Im still gonna go get a video of my own..........go shred!
Today I am going to go shred again, Im kinda excited still and Im still gonna go get a video of my own..........go shred!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
The Biggest Loser
I have recently joined the Biggest Loser challenge at my church and weighed in at 197lbs. Yes that is correct 197lbs, no typo involved. In High School I was a solid 119, these past 6 years I sadly have not taken care of myself at all....stink! But i have also started the 30 day shred and plan on losing 3.5 lbs a week.....it will be a struggle! Tonight after letting my kids gorge themselves on sugar we are going to throw out all the sugar in our house, no joke even the sugar for our coffees. We are going to switch to fake sugar:( But it will be worth it and I think it will even help my kiddos. So after day 1 of the shred I am feeling good......off to day 2!
Introduction
I believe being a Mom doesn't just happen when you have your first child, I think that is just the beginning. Although I have proudly worn the title for a good many years I am ever changing and growing to be a better Mom and Wife:) So here is year 6 of being a mom and year 3 of being a wife...........
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